Junior Benjamin Barba Zuniga is the News Lite Editor for the Californian Paper. As head of the dumbest section of the paper, he is looking forward to making a section worthy of distracting readers from the informative and important stories found in each issue. He’d like to major in English in the future, which means that he’ll sleep with the rats, but at least he’ll be able to write a rhetorical analysis on the symbolism of porcupines in 1984. Most of all, he prides himself on the ability to yap thoroughly and with speed. Meaning that the lack of substance in this blurb isn’t only the result of him being a thoroughly uninteresting person, but also the fact that it was written ten minutes before this assignment was due at midnight.