We have been away from school for almost a year now, and I never thought I would say this but, I miss actually being in school. Shocking, I know.

But as much as we may have missed the campus there’s one big question that we must ask in turn, did Cal High miss us? And if it did, what about us specifically?

Fortunately, when I went to take my PSAT, I had the perfect opportunity to sit down and talk with the campus itself. Here’s what I got.

Q: It’s been nearly a year since we last saw each other, how have you been?

A: Surprisingly enough, I’m doing pretty well. Sure, I haven’t had much to do, but being mostly alone has been a nice change of pace. Plus my headaches stopped!

Q: What have you been doing while we were gone?

A: Well I can’t exactly just get up and pick up a hobby, but I usually spend my time watching the cars drive by, watching the birds, or thinking about all the things I could do if I had legs.

Q: What’s it been like having some teachers be on campus teaching kids via zoom?

A: Wait, those guys were on calls? I thought they were just talking to themselves. Either way, it was nice having some company for once, and I don’t mind all the talking. The silence was getting a bit deafening.

Q: Is there anything you missed about having the students on campus?

A: Nothing that I can think of off the top of my head. Either it’s been so long that I can’t remember what the students were like, or I’ve repressed all the memories I have of them.

Q: Did you miss the students vaping in the bathroom? Have the vape detectors gone off while we were gone?

A: Definitely didn’t miss the lingering smell of blueberry and nicotine. The detectors haven’t gone off a lot, but at least more than once.

Q: Did you miss the bathroom floors being sticky all the time? How did that happen in the first place?

A: You don’t want to know.

Q: You probably don’t miss being threatened with bodily harm, right?

A: No duh, Sherlock.

Q: And I‘m assuming you didn’t miss the boy’s locker room smelling like death itself, right?

A: If there’s one positive thing from this pandemic, it’s that I don’t have to constantly smell the odor of sweat and Axe body spray emanating from that room 24/7.

Q: Have the bathrooms flooded since we were gone?

A: Not yet, but that will probably change soon enough. We had to close all but a few bathrooms just so you guys don’t break all of them at once.

Q: At least you got to listen to the music the students played in the courtyard when we were there, yeah?

A: If you can call it “music”. I think I prefer the deafening silence of the past year instead of the stuff they blare on their wireless speakers.

Q: Are you looking forward to anything now that some students are back in school with the hybrid

A: I’m excited for June 2, so I can go back to doing nothing and having the students as far away from me as possible.

With all that in mind, what about us did Cal High miss? Probably not. Then again, we can’t get all the answers, because the campus is an inanimate object.