It’ll work this time, I promise. 

These are the words that so many commissioners of football leagues say, determined to show that their “sexy, new age” league will be able to stand with and even take down the NFL.

They are all wrong.

On April 2, the Alliance of American Football announced that it would be suspending operations, two weeks before their regular season finished. While there is a possibility that the league could reopen, it seems highly unlikely. It looks like the AAF is gone forever. 

My humblest congratulations to the Orlando Apollos, the de -facto AAF champions for finishing with a league best 7-1 record. It’s a shame they never got to see the playoffs. 

It would have been something for them to actually do with the top record in the league, and win the chip’ or maybe even a playoff game, unlike a certain Tampa Bay hockey team (Looking at you Lightning).

How could this happen? After all, the almighty Tom Dundon, owner of the Carolina Hurricanes and the financial savior and commissioner of the AAF, said that the league was in a strong state, so it has got to be true right? The AAF would never fail, right? Jerry Jones has to be behind this.

Somehow, most of us were once again bamboozled by another convincing owner straight up lying to our faces.

While the league may be gone, the highlights will be there forever. The interceptions, the knockouts, and the missed field goals. Oh my, the missed field goals. Cody Parkey’s voice still hollows in the tunnels of every AAF stadium.

The league had some issues with some standard positions, specifically quarterback, but there was also some recognizable talent as well. 

Trent Richardson was pretty good. Heck, the league even had the legend himself, Johnny Football. Johnny. Freaking. Football. Yeah, that’s really the best we’ve got.

At least if you were ever tired of the “No Fun League” calling flags on every play, then the style of AAF play was sure to satisfy. The league took it back to the 1980s and let the boys play tough, mean, and gritty at times. Heck, you could even knock somebody down and there would be no flag. And refs even might have called pass interference if a player was taken out at a critical point of the game. Saints fans roll in their graves at the thought of this.

But what we can’t forget is the moments the league had and the unity it brought us. People in the West Coast came together to watch their first ever game of AAF football, against San Antonio, and San Diego? Kind of close to the Bay Area, but not that close. 

But who could forget the first field goal they saw sail to the right of the goalposts, still waiting for those first points. Or how basically nobody, even myself, watched an AAF game after Week 1. 

Now, there is nothing. No hope, no new leagues, only the NFL. Nothing but Roger Goodell flexing his private helicopter over anyone who dare stand up against his mighty league. 

After all, why wouldn’t anyone want to watch the NFL? The Patriots only win every other year, and only a fourth of the players in the league are attention seeking divas or highly controversial figures. 

Goodell and his Democratic Football Party owners rule the football realm, and will for all eternity, unchecked.

Wait, the XFL is coming back in 2020? It’ll work this time, I promise.

This story was originally featured in the May 2019 issue of The Californian.