The San Ramon In-N-Out  Burger location turns into a harrowing war front after any Cal High event. 

With each Friday night football game, the unsuspecting establishment is plagued with riots of rowdy individuals from none other than our beloved Cal High. 

First come the belligerents from all grade levels, properly attired in orange and black cadet uniforms, often caked in a camouflage of paints and makeup of the same colors. 

The overcrowded, poorly-mannered line starts out the door, lying alongside the filled seating areas and into the parking lot with no regard for innocent bystanders. The gloriously greasy  interior oddly resembles barracks filled with adolescent wildebeests.

There are many witnesses to the behavior of these war pigs that morph an already bustling environment into what can only be described as a manic hell dream.

“We have to lock the doors sometimes, because there’s a maximum occupancy we can’t exceed,” said senior Reece Lax, an In-N-Out staff worker describing the preposterous scene of peril flooding the restaurant. 

“Last year we had to kick people out,” Lax said. “They were dancing on the tables and being rowdy.” 

Much like the art of war, an uncontrollable environment corrodes humans to crude behavior, only pleased with fast food amidst the madness.

Armed with an insatiable hunger that only fast food and a freakshow can satisfy, the spectacle trudges on against crowds of normal consumers. Their presence does not prove a deterrence, and the fight for food and “fun” pushes forward.

“A fight almost broke out a couple of weeks ago,” said senior Dennis Fiorentinos, another In-N-Out employee.   “Someone threw something and then a huge crowd formed around them.”

“My manager started yelling and five seconds later there were three [police] officers inside,” Fiorentinos continued. “Six squad cars showed up to guard the entrances for crowd control.” 

Reinforcement troops are called upon to corral some of these chaotic instances. No patty-flipping, potato-frying establishment deserves this abuse, abuse reminiscent of a turbulent “Friday Night Lights” scenario.

“It makes everyone working much more stressed and on edge,” said Fiorentinos. “It turns the dining room into a trash-filled war zone.”

The relentlessness of the front lines at the cash registers become overwhelming, with customers filled with greed and the need for sustenance. 

“As I’m standing at the counter, I turn to grab something and a huge line to the door appears,” Fiorentinos said. “And then the line doesn’t go away for a solid hour.”

Hungry savages are chomping at the bit for properly rationed double-doubles, succumbing to a gluttonous state like pigs to the slaughter.

“I was at counter handout and you have to verify every receipt because people were stealing [other people’s] food,” said senior Fariz Qureshi, an In-N-Out worker. 

Who wouldn’t want to take advantage of the location’s affordable eats? The duality of a Cal In-N-Out consumer is much of the cause of the conflict. While providing profits for the restaurant, they stir up every problem imaginable for any restaurant after football games.

After Cal’s homecoming game on Oct. 13, the usual crowds were flowing in. However, it became a true territorial encounter as Cal forces were met by San Ramon Valley High School students, also celebrating their homecoming. The green and gold clashed with orange and black, fighting over tables and creating a large, congesting crowd.

“This is where Cal High and SRV come to fight over their territory,” said senior Jared Duffy within the cesspool of students. “That’s all it ever is. It’s all yelling and loud noises.”

With such a large crowd, four San Ramon police patrol cars and one tech car were present. In-N-Out staff were required to count how many people were allowed in at the line.

At one point, an angry adolescent started to violently hit the front doors, yelling to gain entry after he was instructed to remain outside by In-N-Out staff. He was then approached by a police officer attempt to settle his rage.

“After football games, it seems there’s only one location for people to meet, In -N-Out,” San Ramon police Officer Mike Wickman said. “We [the police] get many calls including verbal assaults and overcrowding, and it’s not logistically sound for all of us to be here at once.”

Given these conditions however, there seems to be something that drives these individuals to continue working through In-N-Out’s war of an evening rush.

“It’s fun to see my fellow classmates,” Qureshi said. “It can get hectic and stressful at times, but it’s definitely worth it.”

Just like any war, a redeeming factor for those who withstand it is the camaraderie built, a deep connection that sticks with you long after the fact. For those brave individuals able to speak about the events they persevered through, thank you. 

It is the stories these veterans of fast food recall that speak truly from the hearts of heroes, serving us one hamburger at a time.