The Internet is a strange, beautiful and vast wonderland. A place of infinite knowledge and one of the crowning achievements of modern civilization.

Then there’s BuzzFeed, a colossal waste of time, energy, resources, and server space. A place where logic and science are thrown to the wind and left wing writers try to control people’s minds with quizzes based on arbitration.

I have never been a big fan of excessive time on the Internet, and I had never been on BuzzFeed. But for the sake of journalism, I ventured into the belly of the beast. I decided to brave the liberal writers, worthless articles and click bait in the name of science.

I opened the mouth of the monster by typing the infamous words “buzz” and “feed” into my search bar and jumped down its gullet with a hit of the return button.

Upon first arrival I was immediately appalled. The site reeked as I caught a thick wind blowing with the strong stench of  fish and liberalism. The sights were just as frightening, with pictures of Kim Kardashian and other plastic women plastering the front page.

With my eyes in pain and all my nose hairs burned off, I managed to navigate my way past copious amounts of click bait and get to the “News” section. This abomination of the transfer of information nearly brought me to tears.

One of the top stories was an “article” on the new “Wonder Woman” movie. Consisting of eight sentences promoting a woman killing men, I struggled to see how this was deemed worthy of being published, let alone in a news section.

Tired of sifting through these worthless “news” articles, I somehow found some other pieces that were more newsworthy. After clicking through a few of them I started to notice a common theme. They all talked about this very interesting man named Trump.

After reading a few of these articles, I started to ascertain that this man Trump was apparently very bad. Seeming to be a mixture of a lizard person, puppet, and Hitler reincarnate, this strange creature has a brain the size of a walnut and extremely small hands that he used to put an end to the rotation of the earth.

With my newly enlightened mind I made my way to the “Tasty” section but immediately left before that page could melt my brain.

To escape the “Tasty” page, I panic clicked on the “Quizzes” section. This infamous area of the web is one of BuzzFeed’s most known creations. A concoction of nonsense and delusion, these quizzes are truly a fascinating specimen.

To explain, the people that make these quizzes have a simple formula. First they start with something completely arbitrary but with some made- up deeper meaning. For example, what kind of parchment you prefer. Then they pick something completely unrelated that people kind of care about but don’t really, like what animal you were in a past life or what celebrity you will sleep with.

These quizzes are never ending and even after spending hours scrolling through them, I still managed to find quizzes so ridiculous they made me laugh out loud and scare my parents, who were trying to sleep, considering it was 1 a.m.

After spending far too long on BuzzFeed I decided my time would be better spent staring at a wall or practicing  drinking water. I walked away from my computer a new man with a newly lowered IQ.

I had lost more brain cells than an acidhead, lost any shred of dignity I had left, and had my hatred for pop culture rekindled.

I would call this endeavor a success.