’Tis a still moment, all is quiet, all is still.

That is, until the sharp, high pitched screech of the fire alarm destroys the calm and disrupts every class.

And it needs to stop.

The 10-20 minutes of wasted class time is not worth the cost of hearing loss.

Our ears are still ringing from the last time some dingus pulled the fire alarm.

Aside from our precious ears, the more the fire alarm is pulled, the less seriously the school will take real evacuations.

If the school were to catch a fire tomorrow and the alarm went off, the lackluster response from students would not be as efficient as an evacuation needs to be in an emergency situation.

Ever hear of the story about the “Boy Who Cried Wolf?” Because that is what is happening to us at Cal.

Every time the fire alarm is pulled, the fire department is alerted and they have to suit up and get going. But if the fire alarm keeps getting pulled, they won’t respond with the same gusto.

And in an actual emergency, we need the proper emergency services here and quick.

We get it. Some of you chowderheads know how to pull the fire alarm, great! You could probably work in some unskilled factory job. Shoot higher, Cal High.

Perhaps the most disappointing part of the fire alarm puller’s ethics is that there are so many better ways to get out of class.

You could lie about needing to use the bathroom, fake a hamstring injury, or actually start a real fire. (No, don’t do that.)

If pulling a fire alarm is supposed to be a prank, you have literally picked the oldest and most cliche “prank” in the book.

With your level of creativity you are better off starting a fire, then jumping into it. (Again, don’t do that.)

Fire alarms are probably the most annoying part of high school and second  only to calculus homework in terms of ear-splitting migraines given to students.

Let’s try to keep what is left of this school year quiet and serene.

Don’t harsh the sweet spring mellow.

If you jokers really cannot help yourselves, pull the stranger danger alarm.

Those drills are a lot quieter.