Are you an eligible, media experienced acrobat proficient in broken Japanese and shadowy combat?

Are you hankering for a whopping $19,000 a year?

Then you might just be suited for the Ieyasu Tokugawa and Hanzo Hattori Ninja Team.

Started in August 2015, this team of six not-so-highly- trained ninjas was created by the Nagoya government as part of its “warlords tourism” system to boost tourism before the 2020 Tokyo Summer Olympic Games.

What’s the meaning and logic behind this? I have no idea because this is News Lite.

But with 130 million prospective candidates, landing this coveted position is no cakewalk. So, I’ve put together a few simple guidelines for some basic ninja training.

Step one: master the art of silent movement. Doing so can be a daunting task but practice makes perfect. Try hiding out underneath the bed of your ex-significant other. This hones your skills of stealth and lets you know what that lying scumbag is up to.

Step two: exercise and diet to maintain the ideal ninja body. No more 4 a.m. Funyuns or trying Taco Bell’s newest atrocity (one reason I’ll never be a ninja). Exercise can be done through free running in the natural world. I find that casually taking a TV from Costco speeds up this process.

Step three: become an expert in hand-to-hand combat. Ninjas are required to be skilled in a plethora of fighting styles. To ensure maximum rage, I’d recommend some Donald Trump punching bags. Check Political Sculptor’s website.

Step four: feed your mind. Do so through a combination of various meditations paired with “oregano” and Pink Floyd’s complete discography.

Step five: acquire an arsenal of ninja-worthy weapons. This can be difficult considering funds and “public safety” laws. But for a quick start hit up Pinterest for some DIY projects like the classic PVC pipe and chewed gum nunchucks.

Step six: grab your garb. Every ninja needs a costume with a combination of practicality and style. Something you can sport not only while basking in the shadows, but strutting up and down the catwalk. Black is a must, but don’t be afraid to accessorize with that Ralph though.

Step seven: seek out your sensei. Every ninja needs a wise, sarcastic, Alan Rickman-esque mentor. Someone to push you when you’re down, tell you you’re worthless, and repeatedly use the phrase “just like your father.”

Step eight: select your ninja name. The variety of names and meanings are celebrated amongst ninja culture, so it is crucial to find a suitable title. Perhaps the name of some famous Renaissance artists? Leonardo, Raphael, Michelangelo, Donatello? Maybe even acquire a hard protective shell or room with your amphibious brothers in the sewers.

Sure, you’ll make barely any money, have to deal with pesky tourists, and might as well just be a Uber driver… but you’ll also be a freaking ninja.