Amazon delivers everything. Well, not everything, but they are getting closer.

Alcoholic beverages are now being delivered by Amazon. Choose your one hour delivery for an extra eight dollars, or just wait two hours for no delivery fee.

The question is, why hasn’t Amazon used their most powerful workforce to deliver booze yet? Well, fear no more. Amazon Prime Air plans to eventually use drones to deliver alcohol. These drunk drones could deliver you a nice cold refreshment in just 30 minutes.

Of course in doing so there would have to be a major change in Amazon’s policy about drinking during work hours. All the contracts apply to human beings, but none of them mention drones. HR is going to have a nightmare.

I would not like a flying machine to be completely wasted when delivering anything. Let alone more alcohol.

Drones can deliver in 30 minutes while Amazon’s fastest delivery time using trucks is one hour. I’m pretty sure that even after about three hours of that speedy delivery, at least one drone is going to chug a Coors. Maybe if it’s a holiday, a couple will get together during a delivery and drink a glass of Cristal champagne.

In addition, I don’t think many Americans want to have a robot drop off liquor to their house and then proceed to run over their mailbox. The cops will be chasing down countless of these booze bots because all of them are under 21.

There is no designated driver for these drones, and who knows what they will do. The more I think about it the more I dislike these Jack jockeys, Corona copters, tequila transports, rum robots, moonshine movers, and Fireball flyers. I think Amazon will realize the danger they are putting their drones in.

Amazon, this is a huge problem. If your drones are going to be doing these terrible things I made up, they may need to be put into rehab.

I will give props to Amazon for this risky business move. They are tapping into a huge market here. They are the pioneers in providing alcohol to teenagers that use their parent’s credit cards.

What’s next? Bringing water to children in Africa? Providing food for the hungry? Revolutionizing the way we move goods around the world? One can only hope.