Welp, it’s that time of year. The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, and seniors are preparing for their last summer before moving into the great beyond.

Exclamations about how much so-and-so will miss so-and-so litter the halls these last few weeks.

We’ll certainly miss each other and Cal High.

But we’re not going to lie. There are quite a few things that we cannot wait to get away from.

What? There are students that can’t wait to leave?

Nay, fear not young child.Here, we shall provide you with a comprehensive list of all the reasons as to why we can’t wait to leave.

First off, let’s talk about those couples that randomly make out in the hallways like one of them is taking a class called Hunger Games 101.

We hate you. You are not in a Nicholas Sparks novel. Sorry to break it to you, we wish it didn’t have to be this way.

Oh, and don’t get us started on those kids that come to school and sneeze WITHOUT THEIR MOUTHS COVERED for the entire class.

You’re gross. Don’t do that please.

And you, kid that cuts in the lunch line. You need a major talking-to because the fate of the world does not depend on your burrito consumption. THE REST OF US ARE HUNGRY TOO.

And while we’re on that topic, the food here is not consumable. It tastes like pencil shavings and the tears of AP students.

We’re 99 percent sure that the burger beef is made out of an inedible combination of tire rubber and plastic surgery-grade silicone.

To the one kid who keeps staring in my general direction, you creep me out. Stop it. This daily eye fixation is flattering yet also unhealthy.

Oh and don’t think we forgot about you, obnoxious kid who never knows what’s going on. You know who you are. You fall asleep, occasionally snore, then wake up only to loudly demand from your peers what’s going on.

When the nice girl next to you doesn’t give you a comprehensive lesson plan, you make some sexist comment and fall back asleep.

We will not, in any semblance of the word, miss you.

Also, aspiring rapper, your mixtapes are not fire and your insistence on rhyming every other word when you talk is not appealing.

We definitely will not miss the convoluted schedules and lack of freedom to roam the infinite hotspots of San Ramon during our lunch hour.

Sure, not allowing students to go to their cars could prevent some serious issues, like the overwhelming issue of kids going to their cars.

Nor will we miss the sinking feeling we get when we cooly walk to class in slow motion with our folders as shields from impending white doom from nearby seagulls, so as to indicate our swaggerly statuses of seniors with a case of I just don’t give a fu-

-N times. Fun times.

Don’t get us started on the “heavy appetizers.”

Are they literally or metaphorically heavy? Are they overweight heavy or dense heavy?

WHAT DOES HEAVY MEAN?

Is heavy a synonym for hungry? Because that’s what we were after ball.

Ah yes, Cal High, we had some fun times, didn’t we? Have a great life, Grizzlies!

H.A.G.S,

Sabine and Keilana