Great news for ghosts-to-be: in February, Facebook introduced a new feature called the “Legacy Contact.” With this feature, people can give control of their Facebook accounts to a friend or family member after they die.

The loved one in charge of the account can accept friend requests, change the deceased friend or family member’s profile picture, and write a memorializing post to be displayed at the top of their timeline. But is this new service a touching way to remember a loved one? Or is it a can of worms waiting to be opened?

The first problem that comes to mind is the fact that people can pass down their Facebook account to someone. Imagine being at a will reading for dear old Aunt Moneybags. While your siblings get tracts of land, Mongolian horses, and solid gold nail clippers, you get stuck managing your auntie’s Facebook account. It’s pretty clear that you aren’t the favorite if you have to do online housekeeping.

And if all eccentric old aunts are essentially the same, then millions of snot nosed brats and/or black sheep will be receiving a Facebook account from their loved one’s will. And a moody family member could easily wreak havoc on a Facebook page.

Expect to see passive-aggressive memorialized posts with such touching lines as “Uncle Joey’s loving heart will be missed. His coffee breath, unfunny short jokes, and constant anecdotes about taking peyote in Amsterdam in the ’80s, however, will not”.

Or maybe “wassup d00ds, i got stuck w/ grammy’s fb account. SO LAME lol no one uses fb anymore anyway, whatever tho she smelled like moth balls. hit up my soundcloud and insta: XXyungkilla420XX. new mixtape dropping on tuesday! its straight fire.”

But perhaps this recently passed person is more tech savvy, and they pick someone they trust to run their Facebook account. Facebook accounts are full of embarrassing old pictures and unsavory private messages. You could’ve gone your whole life without knowing your grandfather was involved in a cult, but you keep getting notifications from their group chat demanding why Barry got the Great Value Powder Beverage Mix and not Kool Aid.

Memorializing someone online is a messy process. Instead of having to directly face the death of a loved one, it’d be much easier for Bay Area tech bros to capitalize on this.

Plugging in a Ouija board instead of a keyboard would get those spirits typing and managing their own social media accounts. In fact, it’s time to teach mediums computer programming. The strict requirements for rooming in a tech startup castle will slowly change from “Must be a celibate, healthy individual with no tattoos, a STEM degree, and an ability to speak to dogs” to “Must be a spiritual, enlightened individual with a third eye tattoo, an online aromatherapy degree, and an ability to speak to the dead.”

Is there life after death? Are our lives predestined? Technomancy could answer these questions. Theologists can rest easy after seeing their ancestors posting selfies with Napoleon right by the pearly gates. Of course, we still won’t know if hell exists, because hell probably won’t have wi-fi.

With newly haunted websites, we’ll finally know what happened to the great minds and leaders of history. Henry VIII is probably on his 318th relationship, and he’s tacky enough to use the “It’s Complicated” relationship status. Catherine the Great won’t have a lot of drama on her Timeline, but plenty of pictures of horses.

The great artists of our time have changed a lot by now. Sylvia Plath only posts to Instagram, and it’s once every two months, usually a landscape picture with a long and concerning caption.

Leonardo da Vinci orders 3D printers from Amazon and makes models of war machines with them. As for Tupac? Oh please. He’s still alive.