In the wake of President Obama’s initiative to put body camera on  police officers nationwide, another genius idea has come to light: to attach body cameras to Cal High teachers.

While some might see this as an invasion of privacy, we at The Californian see it as a simple monitoring device. What better way for district administrators to make sure that our dedicated, experienced teachers are doing their jobs right?

But the addition of body cams to our educational force would reveal some sad, sad truths.

Instead of being the “creative, educational computer whizzes” that they touted themselves as being on their resumes, Cal teachers will be unveiled as the most boring, technologically inept chowhounds in the school.

The body cams will give us an opportunity to watch the thrilling saga of teachers struggling to turn on their monitors while simultaneously inducing their classes into mild comas via the monotonous droning of their lectures.

Most body cam footage will be focused on days and days of identical powerpoints, punctuated by an occasional movie that probably has nothing to do with that teacher’s subject.

On the other end of the spectrum, other teacher’s body cams will only register the login screen of Netflix or Wikipedia. These instructors will hunker behind their computer screens under the pretense of “grading papers,” but will actually be spending the majority of their class time surfing Facebook or Twitter, searching for “cool memes” so they can “relate to their students better.”

Some teachers will even whip out their smart phones in the middle of class to “verify an educational fact” because apparently verifying an educational fact involves playing five games of “Angry Birds.”

Also, many teachers with strict “no food” rules in their classrooms will be caught sticky-handed, squirrelling away dozens of Hostess Ding-Dongs in their cabinet drawers.

If their students complain about the hypocrisy of not being allowed to eat in class, aforementioned teachers will bark, “This is a DICTATORSHIP, not a democracy!”before shoving an entire Twinkie in  their mouths, the sticky cream spilling over the lens of the body cam and hiding their devious crimes forever.

This, more than anything, is why we need to implement the body cam policy. We have to hold the teachers of this school accountable for their web-surfing and snack hoarding and indescribably boring powerpoints. We deserve better, Cal High. We deserve better.