Mr. Cali is a beauty pageant with 13 cool dudes from Cal High, one for each month plus a “Baby Leap Year.”

The 13 guys compete in a talent competition, an interview, and a dance, and the winner donates all raffle money to the charity of his choice.

It takes place on Wednesday at 7 p.m. in Cal’s theatre. Tickets are $5 with ASB and $10 without.

Many students fondly remember being a shy underclassman and brushing elbows with a cute junior or senior, usually someone with facial hair, or a strong jaw, or maybe even a driver’s license.

These hallway babes all have two things in common: their beauty and their unattainability.

These boys weren’t meant to be spoken to by the common people. They are merely brief flashes of passion amongst the humdrum of school life.

Unless, of course, they perform in the Mr. Cali show.

Students can buy raffle tickets, and if their ticket is chosen, they can choose any of the 13 dreamboats to take out on a steamy date.

This year, Mr. Cali has many promising contestants, and The Californian is here to help students decide which of these dashing contestants to pick.

Although February is the shortest month, senior Grayson Brandeburg, Mr. February, stands at six feet tall.

He’s very active in the music programs, where he plays guitar. He also competes in the triple and long jumps in track.

“I have a lot of charisma and I am better looking than them all, by far,” said Brandeburg.

If he wins, he hopes to donate to the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA).

“I’m a dog lover,” he said.

April showers bring May flowers, and Mr. May is a delightful bloom of a man.

Senior Trevor Carter is an active member of Cal’s wind ensemble and marching band, and he performed as a musician in last week’s school musical, “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee.”

He mainly signed up in order to “forcibly expose people to [his] tuba playing,” but he is prepared for anything the pageant will throw at him.

“I have a 30-minute yoga routine in the morning and I recite the alphabet backwards while gargling salt water in order to free my air passages,” Carter said. “I do handstands. I look intently into a mirror. And, I read philosophy.”

That’s a lot to do in just one morning, but Mr. May can handle it.

If he wins, Carter wants to donate to Hope Hospice, a charity that takes care of senior citizens in their last days.

Mr. October, senior Frankie Esparza, has a very carpe diem attitude about the pageant.

“It’s a senior event, and you only have one senior year,” he said.

Esparza does not currently participate in any extracurricular activities, but he is a loyal aide to English teacher Ted Levey.

“I just think it’ll be funny, learning the dances,” he said.

He is a Taurus, and if he wins he will donate to a diabetes foundation.

Winter is a cold, foreboding time, but senior Remi Prieur, Mr. December, has a warm heart.

Prieur is a jocular young man who plays soccer and occasionally goes to the gym.

“I wanted to do something so I can feel involved,” Prieur said about participating in the pageant.

He thinks he will bring a lot to the pageant.

“I have a good sense of humor. I think I’m kinda funny,” said Prieur.

Added fellow classmate senior Jordan Manibusan, “Got big guns too. Lookin’ huge!”

Prieur looks forward to displaying his talent onstage. His favorite color is blue and he is an Aries.

If Prieur wins, he will donate to a breast cancer charity. He lost his grandmother to the disease, so it is a cause close to his heart.

Mr. Cali has a lot of fun, and a lot of babes, in store for students