Hey Cal High, I’m back.

Last year, I was kidnapped. Now you’re up to speed.

As usual, I’m available to answer your burning questions.

Dear Woodward of Wisdom,

I really want to become a good role model for someone I know, what things should I do?

Sincerely, Definitely Not Expecting a Child Anytime Soon

Dear Definitely Not Expecting a Child Anytime Soon,

…I’ll take your word for it.

To become a good role model, you will need to keep in mind a role model of your own. I tend to put the ideals of Avatar Aang on a pedestal, but you may choose whomever you wish.

Once you have your own role model, start pin-pointing the actions that make you idolize them. It could be saving the world and being a hero, or just asking somebody how their day has been, giving a hug, a smile.

Now here’s the tricky part: you still need to be you. Consider the gestures and behavior of your role model, but don’t become them. Shape them around your own personality.

Occasionally my buddies and I shout things like, “Don’t give in to the darkness” and “My friends are my power.” Thank goodness we only do that in private. Mostly.

The point is don’t go overboard and don’t lose yourself, because you are important.

A good role model is always looking for opportunities to be that role. If you see somebody stuck in a tree, go help them. If the person just so happens to be me, yes, they will most definitely need help. Not necessarily in getting out of the tree, I just need some general help. Thanks.

Last but not least, a role model must have an audience, for what is the point if nobody learns from your good deeds? This is where you can let loose a little.

As this is the paramount step in role modeling, you must go all out. If your kid isn’t paying attention, make him or her pay attention. Throw a soft object at them, or a hard object if the soft one fails.

Actually, this may be how many villains begin. Good people with good intentions that end up having to take the lives of others to get people to notice their good deeds. This strategy does seem to have some merit.

Now you’ve got me thinking. Great job. I hope you’re happy Mr. Pre-Paternity. Or maternity, I can’t quite tell through this email.

G’night everyone.

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