May and June are the darkest times of the year. Readers, be forewarned: the seniors are coming.

Nobody is safe from their wrath. No celebrated teacher, no undersized freshman, not even the most innocent of bystanders.

One may ask, what could possibly go wrong?

Everything. Everything imaginable could go wrong.

This is a time when seniors take revenge on the people who have been unkindly educating them for the past four years with their traditional pranks.

Seniors, who will be graduating in less than a month, have nothing to fear as they unleash their uncontrollable wrath and fury. And one of the most common targets is Cal Principal Mark Corti.

“One year at Cal, someone placed something under the principal’s car,” said math teacher Gary Triebwasser.  “A little box or something like that. When the principal tried to drive his car, the wheels, which weren’t touching the ground because of the box, were just spinning and he couldn’t drive away.”

Another year at Cal, numerous Ping-Pong balls were thrown around in the principal’s office, said math teacher Fred Albano. Some heart-felt advice to Corti: constant vigilance.

Another wider, popularly targeted group are teachers.

On the last day of the 2012 school year at Los Altos High in the South Bay, seven male seniors generously offered homemade cupcakes to the entire staff. The cupcakes were laced with laxatives.

Not only that, but they entered the janitor’s room and successfully cut off all water supply in the school bathrooms. The teachers were forced to go “number two” without running water.

Parents and peers do not miss out on the fun, either.

At San Dieguito Academy in Encinitas, seniors sent out letters to parents declaring condoms would be distributed to students at all future dances.

This is a parent’s worst nightmare.

Last year at Cal, seniors attempted to make the seagulls poop on the entire student population by spreading large amounts of birdseed around the quad, hoping to induce the seagulls to eat, fly, and then poop on the heads of bird-fearing students.

“I heard the bird seeds contained laxatives,” said junior Michelle Xue.

But the prank did not go as planned.

The birds did not eat the seeds, leaving the courtyard covered with uneaten birdseed for the next week.

Another prank that occurred last year was to dirty anyone who sat in the stadium bleachers of Cal.

“I think the flour thrown into the stands was a pretty bad prank,” said junior Nick Kauffman.  “All it did was annoy a few people, turning them white.”

Meanwhile, other pranks often target the campus itself.

Past pranks on campus include the release of crickets in the commons, the placement of sofas on the edges of building roofs, the tossing of a porta-potty in the pool one year, a Volkswagen bug another year, and the sealing of all door locks by glue, according to attendance secretary Lois Ubeda.

Another prank at Cal was the attempt to turn the quad into a beach.

Last year’s seniors planned to pour enough sand to cover the quad and then spread a tarp filled with water to symbolize the ocean.

This prank failed and the existing sand was cleaned immediately.

But is all of this truly worth it?

The school’s student handbook states that students who vandalize school property, disrupt school activities, or cause physical harm to another are subject to suspension or even expulsion.

“One year, a student had to go to the emergency room from a senior prank,” recalled senior Cassidy Davis. “Pranks should be funny, not dangerous.”

In addition, senior pranks call for messy campuses, potential hazards, and overall havoc.

Taking this into consideration, these pranks clearly spell disaster.

But the seniors are almost finished with high school anyway.So duck and cover. Hunker under the desk, keep all the windows closed.

Take all the necessary measures to protect oneself because the avenging seniors are coming.

Faithful readers of The Californian have been forewarned.

Admittedly, there are some pranks the population need not cringe from, such as the generic Post-its around campus, food coloring in the ketchup dispenser, and dishwashing liquid in the toilet.

One such example of harmless pranks is that of last year’s graduating class of Livermore High. They decorated their campus with silly string and balloons.

All in all, as long as they are harmless, senior pranks remain a fun and creative way to exit high school with a bang.

Though sometimes it may seem impractical, the tradition will continue to live on.

“I think senior pranks are funny and are a good way for seniors to end their year,” said junior Nancy Quach.  “But there’s a limit between something being funny and something ruining the day for everyone else.”