Hi! I love your newspaper it is awesome! I think you should add more Clouse because its my favorite article in the whole newspaper!!! The Reck it Ralph article was also really good (now I want to go see it) 🙂 I really liked all the pictures that went with the stories, they were really cool :). The Donovan story was very interesting and well written. Its really cool how you added in a Taylor Swift review because I really like her music and she’s my favorite singer.

From,
Hailey Clark (Clouse’s #1 Fan!)

P.S. I cannot stress how much I love the Cordially Clouse column!!!!!!

Dear Hailey,

I got your letter and I must say that you have impeccable taste. Marlena, Luke, Shalaka, and Shefali were extremely flattered by your letter, but are currently unable to respond to you because they’re a bit tied up at the moment. Meaning I tied them up and put them in our closet.
But don’t worry, I think that I fed them at least once. I haven’t really checked on them since last weekend though…
Oh well.
Anyway, while I may not be the most fond of Taylor Swift or her one, two, or thirteen boyfriends, I did immensely enjoy Wreck it Ralph. Have you seen it yet? If you haven’t you should. But don’t do what I did. Because apparently, going dressed as Fix it Felix while a friend is dressed as Wreck it Ralph is frowned upon in this society.
It was either that that got us kicked out or the fact that after the movie, my friend ran around the theatre screaming “I’m gonna wreck it!” punching holes in the seats. Which wouldn’t have been a problem if when I went around yelling “I can fix it!”, my magical hammer would fix the seats on spot.
Instead my hammer caused even more damage. Because it was a regular hammer.Not a magical one.
Not a magical one.
Thank you so much for writing, we all really appreciate it (especially me). I seriously didn’t think I was near cool enough to have fans. It made me all warm and fuzzy inside. Or maybe that was just the food poisoning.