Imagine driving down the freeway, windows rolled down, tweeting with one hand, Big Mac in the other, legs off the pedals, enjoying the smooth drive of Google’s self-driving, autonomous car.
Sounds good, right? FALSE, you lazy, law-breaking, hashtagging bum. Put the food away and keep your eyes on the road. Your senseless trust in technology is going to get you killed.
In late September, Gov. Jerry Brown signed Senate Bill 1298, allowing Google’s driverless car to legally roam California’s streets.
The driverless technology system is a combination of information obtained from Google Street View and GPS, with artificial intelligence software using video cameras inside the car, a remote sensor on top of the vehicle, radar sensors on the front of the vehicle, and a position sensor that helps locate the car’s position on the map.
This is obviously way too advanced for us humans. The only explanation for the success of autonomous technology is ALIENS.
I hope Apple doesn’t respond with the release of an autonomous car, using their own, “improved”, Apple Maps. That would prove just as effective as drunk driving.
Driverless technology stirs up mixed opinions among Cal High students.
“I think they’d be cool to drive, unless they crash,” sophomore Flynn Rickhorn said. “But if they crash, I’d just sue the maker.”
Keep that thought to yourself, Fynn. If you end up with one of these autonomous cars, and it hears you say that , I think the car will show its true loyalty to Google and turn on you.
There are also people who share my fears about SB1298.
“I’m against it, because if cars can drive themselves, it takes away the purpose of driving and the freedom of driving your own car,” sophomore Benjamin Sellers said.
What are we giving up to these machines? Our sense of security? Our sense of safety? Do we have to sleep with one eye open, hoping our car won’t drive itself off to an isolated spot, to signal its alien buddies that Earth awaits their arrival? No thank you, Google. These aren’t the droids we’re looking for.
“Today, we’re looking at science fiction becoming tomorrow’s reality,” Governor Brown said earlier.
If science fiction is to become our reality, it would make sense to legalize the use of robotic vehicles just before the Apocalypse which is just around the corner.
We all know what happened the last time we saw a car that drove itself: Transformers appeared on Earth and Decepticons came seeking to destroy it.
Is Google secretly creating a small, private army of Autobots? If so, I’m pleading Google to create autonomous technology for cars that are tougher than a Prius.
