By Matt Goodman

“The run I was on makes Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them just look like droopy eyed, armless children,” said Charlie Sheen in an interview with ABC News.

He was referring to his 36-hour cocaine bender on Jan. 25, which landed him in the hospital.  Sheen told interviewers that he did more drugs than any other human being could possibly survive that night.

“Dying’s for fools,” said Sheen when asked if he was afraid of overdosing from consuming so many drugs.

Recent studies have shown that dying is actually not for fools. There are many intelligent people in history who have died. Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Plato, Aristotle, all dead. Those people certainly weren’t fools.

Sheen is possibly the most egotistical and delusional person in Hollywood.  The drugs seem to have altered his mind past the point of repair. He truly believes he is a superior being.

In his mind, anyone who doesn’t like him is an ugly loser. In his mind, everyone is just jealous.  Not too long ago, that might have been true.

Sheen was the highest paid actor on television for his role in “Two and a Half Men.”  He was paid almost $2 million per episode before being fired, according to E! News.

But ever since that night of partying, he has been in a downward spiral.  Now there is nothing of which to be jealous.

He was fired from a very easy and high paying job, and now all he has is his tour, “The Violent Torpedo of Truth: Defeat is not an Option.”

This tour sold out in less than 18 minutes, but as it turns out, over half of those tickets were bought by scalpers, who hoped to make a profit. According to Wild 94.9, nobody bought the tickets off the scalpers.

How did those scalpers expect to make money off of this? Sheen’s rants are worth a good laugh, but its a cheap thrill.

The show costs more than $100, according to Blast Magazine. The nonsense he says isn’t worth $10, much less $100.

Sheen is entirely incapable of admitting anything is wrong with him.  After almost every interview, Sheen ends with saying, “Winning” making this word his catch phrase.

Unfortunately, Sheen doesn’t realize that he is doing the complete opposite, heading on a downward spiral from drug abuse to losing  his role in “Two and a Half Men.”

In another interview with ABC News, he was asked if he was bipolar, he said he was not. Instead he said he was “bi-winning.”

This doesn’t even come close to making sense, but it’s the type of thing Sheen says.

A few times in some of his interviews, Sheen implied that he may not be from this terrestrial realm.  He thinks he’s an alien! Whatever planet he’s from must have some serious issues.

He also insists that the only drug he does is “Charlie Sheen” and he will never relapse again in the same interview with ABC News.

“I blinked and I cured my brain,” said Sheen when he was asked how he knows he won’t go back to doing drugs.

It is highly doubtful that he will be able to stay away from drugs. When he talked about his night of partying he didn’t express any remorse.

“I’m proud of what I created, it was radical,” said Sheen. “I exposed people to magic, I may forget about them by tomorrow, but that’s a memory they’re going to live with for the rest of their lives.”